We had a nice Christmas Eve with our wonderful neighbors - we played Balderdash aka The Dictionary Game. Everyone is very good at it, so it was a lot of fun.

Then we came home and I decided to bake the pies for Christmas Day. Here's where the story gets good (or bad, depending on your interpretation.)

On December 22, I was awaiting my husband’s return from taking his grandson to see Santa at the Mall, and all the attendant joys that arise from such an occasion. We will pass over that lightly.

Anyway, when he FINALLY got home, he dumped 3 Sara Lee pies on the kitchen counter. It seemed that the ONLY thing our Christmas Day hostess had asked me to do was to bake the pies and bring them to Christmas dinner. Ummmm, OK, no problem. You see, although I am an enthusiastic and good cook in many ways, I know from nothing about baking; but I figured heating was within my powers. I put them in the refrigerator, deciding I would bake them Christmas Eve, so they would be nice and "fresh".

So we get home from the neighbors' around 11 on Christmas Eve, and I decide to bake the pies. The first thing I notice is that they all bake at different temperatures and for different amounts of time. Then I notice that in rather small letters on the bottom of the boxes, rather than in GIANT WARNING LETTERS on the front where they should be, that the pies are to remain FROZEN until baking. Ooops. Our hostess either didn't read the directions herself (because by the time John brought them home, they were definitely no longer frozen, and he's pretty sure that she took them out of her fridge, not the freezer; OR she assumed that I would know. Big assumption, and wrong. Plus, she must have been dreaming if she, who knows me well, thought I would have room for THREE PIES in my freezer. I barely had room for them in 2 refrigerators. But I digress.

The pecan pie was OK - apparently it is fully cooked anyway, and merely needs to be thawed. That it was, since Friday night! The cherry pie was a tad "iffy", as some of the cherry filling oozed out onto the crust when it thawed, and then when I had to tip it a bit to get it out of the fridge well, you get the picture. But not too bad, as it was a double crust, so not much leakage. The pumpkin pie, however, was SOUP, and when I tipped IT a bit to get it out of the fridge, I heard a sloshing sound and knew I was in big trouble. It was a mess - pumpkin soup all over the box, all over the nice pie edges, very little left in the pie shell itself.

I freaked out. It is now midnight, and I have a mess on my hands. John is saying "Don't panic, it's just a pie. Can't we just pour the filling from the box back into the crust and bake it?" I'm guessing you can imagine the look I gave him. SO, I throw the pecan pie back in the fridge, toss the cherry pie into the oven, and out we dash to the store. At Midnight. On Christmas Eve. In Arizona, an extension of the Bible Belt if ever there was one. WalMart is closed. Safeway is closed, and will be closed tomorrow except for a couple of stores in east bumfu*k. Fry's is closed and will be closed tomorrow. By now I am practically in tears, and John, ever helpful, says "Don't worry, we'll find a store open tomorrow on our way to Mesa and just get a ready-made pie." I point out that there are no stores on the way to Mesa. He says "Sure there are - there's a Fry's for sure." I remind him of the sign we just read on the door at OUR Fry's, saying ALL Fry's will be closed Christmas Day. He says "Oh. Well, never mind, two pies is plenty."

Well, probably, but the ONLY thing the hostess had asked me to do was to heat 3 lousy pies, and by now I was on a mission. SO, I decide I can save the crust, I have canned pumpkin, I have eggs, all I need is some evaporated milk and I can do the recipe on the can of Libby's pumpkin puree. Libby. My mom's name. Especially ironic tonight, as she was and excellent baker, but didn’t pass that gene on to her daughter. I rinse off the pumpkin pie crust, pat it dry, and stick it in the freezer to firm back up.

It is now 1 am, and John is pointing out that I am a madwoman, to bake a pie in the middle of the night. Naturally, I ignore him. I go to the over-loaded pantry shelves and reach for the can of pumpkin. I dislodge another can and it drops STRAIGHT onto my bad big toe - the toe that was JUST starting to heal. I am wearing sandals. Of course. Because the foot is still too bad to wear closed shoes. The pain is so bad I can't even scream. Have you noticed that you can swear like a sailor when something minor happens, but when TRUE pain hits, you have a hard time even making a sound? Well. I finally get my breath back and start squeaking. Then sobbing. John comes running in, sees the blood, sees my face. He runs for ice and ibuprofen. I sit in the laundry room for a bit, crying and fuming. Then I pick up the can of pumpkin and limp to the kitchen. I am on a quest for evaporated milk now. Do you think that I have ONE SINGLE CAN of evaporated milk in the entire house? Of course I don't. I DO have a can of sweetened condensed milk, and am wondering if I can adjust the recipe to use that. John comes in, sees me balancing on my good leg, reading the can, and is for once speechless. He just sighs, shakes his head, kisses me and heads off to bed. The dog is licking up bits of pumpkin goop that hit the floor when I opened the box. I suddenly remember that my mom - the OTHER Libby - used to make pumpkin pie with sweetened condensed milk. Hurray! However, now I realize I have no pumpkin pie spice. I do have apple pie spice, so I look up pumpkin and apple spice mixes on the net. The only difference I can see is ginger. I add some ginger to the apple pie spice, dump it in with the eggs, condensed milk and pumpkin puree and whisk. I taste. It's FANTASTIC! I pull the now nicely-frozen pie crust out of the freezer, remove the now nicely-baked cherry pie from the oven, turn up the heat, put the cherry pie to cool on a rack and shove the pumpkin pie in the oven. After 15 minutes, I take the pie out, cover the edges with foil so they won't burn, lower the heat, stick the pie back in and let it bake for another 35 minutes. Never have I had a pumpkin pie puff up, settle down and NOT CRACK in at least three places. Until tonight. This pie is PERFECT. It and the cherry pie are now covered and cooling outside, because it's 40 degrees out there, great for pie-cooling. The pecan pie is out there with them, still (to the best of my knowledge) pristine inside its unopened box.

I figure if nobody says anything tomorrow, I will just keep my mouth shut. However, if they HAPPEN to say it's a good pumpkin pie, I fully intend to take the credit - Sara Lee or no Sara Lee!

And that's my story.

UPDATE: The pie got rave reviews. Go figure.