Chatty is quite sure that by now everyone has read the story about the twins who were separated at birth, met in later life, fell in love, and married; only to find out that the reason they were so attracted to one another was quite possibly because they are TWINS.

    Chatty will not bore you with the obvious (like making it a FEDERAL LAW that adopted children should have the right to their birth and medical records), because Chatty’s opinion is presumably shared by most all who have read this tragic story.

    But let’s step back and focus on what this story really means…for Chatty.

    Most importantly (because Chatty is nothing if not self-absorbed), Chatty has a deep secret yearning to write a romance novel. If ONLY she had thought of this first; unfortunately plotting is not Chatty’s strong-point. In any case, Chatty is guessing that if this story line had been introduced as a possibility for any soap opera or romance novel, the powers-that-be would have given the horselaugh to any writer who pitched the idea.

    But, as we have no ACTUAL writers at the moment (because they are all on STRIKE!), Chatty has the urge to pick out a nom-de-plume and get to creating.

    Back when Chatty was young and reading romance novels, they were really ROMANTIC, and therefore had NOTHING to do with reality. Not like this new-fangled idea of publishing romance books with semi- believable plots.

    So, let us go back in time and consider the days when there was generally a misunderstood heroine who was in love with a bad boy/ rich employer/distant cousin…

    Our heroine is always maidenly in EVERY sense of the word; yet for some tragic reason, the scoundrel who holds her heart in his hands is a scowling misanthrope/misunderstood hero with a secret past /mystery man with a seemingly fatal flaw - who stomps on her sweet hopes and dreams like Godzilla smushing Bambi on a walk through the forest.

   Our plucky heroine (heroines back in the day were always plucky - in a terribly terribly maidenly way, of course) does something to attract his attention, but always in a BAD way. She despairs, but never gives up; because by gum, she’s PLUCKY, and don’t you forget it!

    Many many things transpire to make it impossible for our heroine to show her true colors to her hero, and vice versa.

    But at some point (usually in the last two pages of the book), a deus ex machina appears to make things absolutely PERFECT in our heroine’s little world. (See: old governess who explains our hero’s tragic past/dotty relative who explains our hero’s tragic past/realization that our hero is really a spy and couldn’t tell the heroine about his tragic past, but because of some wonderful intervention is finally allowed to tell our heroine all about his tragic past…you get Chatty's drift here, right?)

    Chatty remembers shedding abundant tears over an opus in which our heroine is a fat girl with mousy brown hair (because Chatty could relate to that - being overweight and having mousy brown hair herself) who loved her cousin - or maybe it was the lord of the manor; or her best friend’s handsome and much older brother; or maybe it was - well, Chatty can’t quite remember, but it was plenty TRAGIC. Our heroine’s beloved pays her nary a glance when she comes to the castle/manor house/office to catalogue the library (because people back then had libraries so full of books that it would take lots and lots of time to put them all in order - and NOT because they were all in packing boxes marked "video-tapes, paper-backs and misc" like Chatty’s are).

    Our plucky heroine sets to work, while crying in her virginal bed every night after unpleasant encounters with her beloved. But ONE DAY, she is STRUCK ON THE HEAD by a giant tome (probably Almanach de Gotha) and FALLS UNCONSCIOUS to the floor of the library. She continues to be unconscious for the entire middle of the book, while we read about our hero’s exploits. His exploits are not good. For instance, he falls in love at least 2 times while our heroine is languishing in a coma; but the relationships don’t work out because for SOME REASON HE CAN’T UNDERSTAND, he cannot give his heart – much less his seemingly BLACK SOUL- to anyone. But luckily for him, one day our heroine AWAKES from her coma – and she has LOST about 200 pounds and her mousy brown hair has turned a beautiful PLATINUM color. (Chatty promises you that this book actually existed - fat girl losing weight, hair changing to platinum whilst she was in a coma, and all!) The hero takes one look at the plucky heroine and SUDDENLY REALIZES why he was unable to fall in love with others – it’s because he has ALWAYS been in love with our heroine. So, he changes his ways.

    They now have 6 children and are living in a suburb outside of Baltimore.

    OK, Chatty is lying about the Baltimore part, because she can’t quite remember, what with crying hysterically at the happy ending and all. It may have been Pittsburgh.

    Ah, yes, the good old days – when Barbara Cartland ruled the scene and virgins were in vogue.

    THIS is the type of romance novel Chatty wishes to bring back!

    But, Chatty needs your help. She already has the plot – twins separated at birth who fall in love, not knowing they are twins – but she needs a nom-de-plume to really get the creative juices flowing.

    It is imperative that Chatty find the RIGHT nom de plume, because as previously mentioned, Chatty is not so good with plots - even when one such as this is handed to her on a platter - so she has to focus on something she CAN do, which is to find herself a really cool name. The book will come later. Maybe.

    Chatty has not been idle in this area, but she feels the need for input.

    So far, the very best nom-de-plume Chatty has come up with is – wait for it, because it works on SO MANY levels – "Chastity Worth".

    However, Chatty realizes she might be too close to the situation, so she is willing to entertain suggestions.