Most people have had bad hair days. Chatty has had a bad hair LIFE.

    It’s true.

    Here are some examples of the kind things people have said about Chatty’s hair over the years, trying to make her feel a bit better:

    "Well, it IS baby fine, but there’s quite a bit of it." Sadly, this no longer applies – it is still baby fine, but there’s not as much of it these past few years;

    "Yes, it IS dirt/ditchwater brown, but that’s really a lovely natural color – because dirt/ditchwater is very natural";

    "The cowlicks aren’t really all that noticeable most of the time";

    "Who needs body, bounce, or texture, really?"

    As a little girl, Chatty dreamed of having hair like Barbara Feldman as Agent 99 on "Get Smart"; or Barbra Streisand in "Funny Girl"; or Dorothy Hamill, the lovely ice-skating champion.

    They all had bobs. Perfect bobs. Chatty hoots every time she reads about Posh Spice or Katie Holmes and their "daring", "new" haircuts. They are not new. They are not daring. They are "bobs", and as such they date from at least 1920 (unless we go back to ancient Egypt and take a look at the hieroglyphics on tomb walls, thus proving that everything old is new again).

    One of the stories Chatty fondly remembers her grandmother reading to her one summer is Bernice Bobs Her Hair, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. He wrote it for his little sister in 1920. To all the photographers and news hounds that describe Katie’s and Posh’s "new" haircuts as "cutting edge" (ahem) – get a clue. Chatty’s just saying…

    Moving on (finally), Chatty still harbors in her heart a desire to have the perfect bob. If you’ve been paying any attention at all, you will have realized that this will never come to pass.

    Chatty knows this.

    But she still tries, once a year or so, to get a "cute" haircut.

    This is an exercise in futility.

    But, like clockwork, every year around this time, Chatty ends up getting her hair cut below her ears, tries valiantly to make it look the way it looked when the hairdresser sent her out the door, fails to do so, and eventually just pulls it back in a ponytail (which ponytail measures out to be as big around as her little finger), and goes on with her life.

    EVERY year.

    Today was the day! Chatty headed over to Clipology, because she was just SURE that THIS year, her cousin (the only hairdresser in the world who has been able to give Chatty a decent haircut, by the way) would come up with something new, different, and CUTE!

    It was not to be.

    Chatty’s hair has been growing for a year. It is thin. It is stringy. On the plus side, it is at least healthy, according to her cousin. That’s something, right? No split ends. Yippee. That’s because those ends never see the light of day – Chatty just pulls everything back and clips on a hairpiece…

    So, Chatty’s cousin has combed out Chatty’s hair, and is looking at it. It has gotten quite long. Chatty mentions this because it will be important in a moment…

    Chatty expresses the wistful hope that something can be done with her hair this time. Her cousin musters up a smile and says:

    "Well, we could cut if off like we did last year, BUT…"

    Chatty perks up her ears. There’s another possibility?

    Well, yes.

    Here’s what Chatty’s cousin told her:

    There is a non-profit organization called Locks of Love. This organization takes donations of healthy hair and uses that hair to make prostheses for children between the ages of 6 and 18, who are suffering from hair loss due to medical problems.

    If Chatty can grow her hair just one more inch, she can send it to be used so that some boy or girl can have a nice wig or hairpiece, donated to them by Locks of Love.

    Maybe Chatty’s hair isn’t so bad after all. Maybe it’s all in how you look at it.

    Because, if Chatty can help even one kid feel better or look better…maybe not be laughed at or teased, well…

    Let’s just say that Chatty did NOT get a haircut today, and that her new mantra is ONE MORE INCH!