The day Chatty met Moses...
Charlton Heston, one of the last great lions of Hollywood, has died. Chatty is sad about this, because he was a nice man. However, he lived a good life, and although that life has ended, his memory - and his movies - will live on.
Chatty now proposes to regale you with the time she totally disgraced herself, and was disrespectful (although not on purpose) to Charlton Heston – because memories are important, and Chatty cherishes this one…
Chatty was a lowly assistant director trainee, assigned to a huge TV movie starring Charlton Heston. Actually, it had been a very successful theatrical release, but new scenes were being shot for the television version, and Mr. Heston had agreed to reprise his role for several of the new scenes.
Chatty was nervous. Chatty was not one who yearned to meet and greet the stars, because believe it or not, Chatty is very shy. She had hoped just to stay in the background, running the usual errands necessary on any movie set, but it was not to be.
No.
Chatty was assigned to give Mr. Heston his first “call-time” - over the phone, before the production had even started, before she had met him – just – a “cold call”.
With damp palms, Chatty dialed Mr. Heston’s home number. A nice woman answered. Chatty explained she needed to give Mr. Heston his call-time for the next day personally. The nice woman said that she would transfer her, because Mr. Heston was “out by the pool.”
Then, silence.
Chatty - even more nervous the more time she had to think about it - flippantly remarked to the other people in the office (sadly without hitting the “mute” button on the phone):
“Mr. Heston is out by the pool. He’s probably parting the waters again.”
The others in the room chuckled, and Chatty felt better, until…THAT VOICE came over the line into her ear.
“The last time I parted the waters in my pool, I flooded my neighbors down the hill. TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING?”
Put yourself in Chatty’s place.
Chatty managed to squeak out her name, to give him his call time for the next day, and then she…hung up on him.
Yes.
Dear Lord.
She had just added injury to insult.
The other people in the room looked at Chatty pityingly.
Next day, on the set, Chatty was an invisible mouse. She begged her bosses – the “real” assistant directors – to take over when it came to Mr. Heston. They understood her shame, and agreed.
All had gone well throughout the morning, until…
You know how it is in a crowded room – in this case a HUGE sound studio – where there is lots of noise, and you have to speak louder and louder to be heard?
Well…Chatty was speaking rather loudly, just to be heard - when suddenly, one of those silences fell…
That dead silence wherein a single voice echoes so loudly…and suddenly, it was Chatty’s voice…echoing in that dead silence.
From the lighted set – far away from where Chatty the Mouse was holed up – came THAT VOICE again:
“I recognize your voice! STEP FORWARD!”
Everything stopped. Over 100 people came to a dead, silent, stop.
Chatty didn’t step – she crept – forward.
“You were the one who called me yesterday?” Mr. Heston boomed.
“Yes, sir,” Chatty whispered miserably.
“YOU are the smart-aleck who suggested that I was probably out by my pool, parting the waters?”
“Yes, sir.”
Chatty was hoping for some support, but she didn’t get any. This was Hollywood. All she could do was stand there and quiver with fear.
“WELL, YOUNG LADY! The only thing left for me to decide is…
(Chatty knew at this point that she was about to be fired – in front of a hundred snickering co-workers. Her short career in the motion picture industry was over. He definitely had the power, and she had been incredibly rude.)
…where to take you to lunch.”
Chatty was dumbstruck. She was sure she hadn’t heard correctly.
He could easily have had her FIRED. Absolutely! Truly!
But then, Mr. Heston stepped off the set, away from the lights. He was very tall. He seemed to tower over Chatty… but he patted her hand, laughed, and continued so quietly that no flapping ears could overhear:
“You cracked us up. My wife is still laughing. You made our day. I’m surprised someone your age even KNOWS that movie! If you hadn’t hung up so quickly, I’d have told you so!”
Then, he took Chatty to lunch!
We had a great time - that day, and all the other days Chatty was privileged to work with him. We even discovered we were born in the same city – Evanston, Illinois – although, as Mr. Heston so graciously put it, “many years apart”.
Charlton Heston was a kind, generous, talented, professional and charming man.
Chatty will miss him.
Chatty now proposes to regale you with the time she totally disgraced herself, and was disrespectful (although not on purpose) to Charlton Heston – because memories are important, and Chatty cherishes this one…
Chatty was a lowly assistant director trainee, assigned to a huge TV movie starring Charlton Heston. Actually, it had been a very successful theatrical release, but new scenes were being shot for the television version, and Mr. Heston had agreed to reprise his role for several of the new scenes.
Chatty was nervous. Chatty was not one who yearned to meet and greet the stars, because believe it or not, Chatty is very shy. She had hoped just to stay in the background, running the usual errands necessary on any movie set, but it was not to be.
No.
Chatty was assigned to give Mr. Heston his first “call-time” - over the phone, before the production had even started, before she had met him – just – a “cold call”.
With damp palms, Chatty dialed Mr. Heston’s home number. A nice woman answered. Chatty explained she needed to give Mr. Heston his call-time for the next day personally. The nice woman said that she would transfer her, because Mr. Heston was “out by the pool.”
Then, silence.
Chatty - even more nervous the more time she had to think about it - flippantly remarked to the other people in the office (sadly without hitting the “mute” button on the phone):
“Mr. Heston is out by the pool. He’s probably parting the waters again.”
The others in the room chuckled, and Chatty felt better, until…THAT VOICE came over the line into her ear.
“The last time I parted the waters in my pool, I flooded my neighbors down the hill. TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING?”
Put yourself in Chatty’s place.
Chatty managed to squeak out her name, to give him his call time for the next day, and then she…hung up on him.
Yes.
Dear Lord.
She had just added injury to insult.
The other people in the room looked at Chatty pityingly.
Next day, on the set, Chatty was an invisible mouse. She begged her bosses – the “real” assistant directors – to take over when it came to Mr. Heston. They understood her shame, and agreed.
All had gone well throughout the morning, until…
You know how it is in a crowded room – in this case a HUGE sound studio – where there is lots of noise, and you have to speak louder and louder to be heard?
Well…Chatty was speaking rather loudly, just to be heard - when suddenly, one of those silences fell…
That dead silence wherein a single voice echoes so loudly…and suddenly, it was Chatty’s voice…echoing in that dead silence.
From the lighted set – far away from where Chatty the Mouse was holed up – came THAT VOICE again:
“I recognize your voice! STEP FORWARD!”
Everything stopped. Over 100 people came to a dead, silent, stop.
Chatty didn’t step – she crept – forward.
“You were the one who called me yesterday?” Mr. Heston boomed.
“Yes, sir,” Chatty whispered miserably.
“YOU are the smart-aleck who suggested that I was probably out by my pool, parting the waters?”
“Yes, sir.”
Chatty was hoping for some support, but she didn’t get any. This was Hollywood. All she could do was stand there and quiver with fear.
“WELL, YOUNG LADY! The only thing left for me to decide is…
(Chatty knew at this point that she was about to be fired – in front of a hundred snickering co-workers. Her short career in the motion picture industry was over. He definitely had the power, and she had been incredibly rude.)
…where to take you to lunch.”
Chatty was dumbstruck. She was sure she hadn’t heard correctly.
He could easily have had her FIRED. Absolutely! Truly!
But then, Mr. Heston stepped off the set, away from the lights. He was very tall. He seemed to tower over Chatty… but he patted her hand, laughed, and continued so quietly that no flapping ears could overhear:
“You cracked us up. My wife is still laughing. You made our day. I’m surprised someone your age even KNOWS that movie! If you hadn’t hung up so quickly, I’d have told you so!”
Then, he took Chatty to lunch!
We had a great time - that day, and all the other days Chatty was privileged to work with him. We even discovered we were born in the same city – Evanston, Illinois – although, as Mr. Heston so graciously put it, “many years apart”.
Charlton Heston was a kind, generous, talented, professional and charming man.
Chatty will miss him.
!!!!
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What a story!
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What a wonderful story - and told so well!
And makes me think that he had some or many of the characteristics of the characters he portrayed. He always seemed bigger than life on screen.
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Now, how cool is that?! I laugh because I could so see myself in your same situation. I make off hand, flip comments all the time and a few have came back to bite me in the butt. See now I feel like you're famous too just for knowing Charlton Heston!
I've had a few weird run ins with stars - One time I won back stage passes to meet Kenny Chesney and had my sister along. Although Chesney was already pretty famous, he was playing in this pavilion in Waterloo, Iowa. Not very glamorous. We were told to sit and wait to be called to meet Kenny. After a while we were told to line up and we were herded through this meet and greet type line. I shake a few hands of I'm assuming band members and then get to this little guy in a baseball hat who takes my hand in both of his, shakes it, looks me square in the eye and says, "Enjoy the concert." I reply, "Um, ok, yea, you too," kind of grab my hand back and walking on. My sister thumps me in the back of the head and says, "You moron that was Kenny Chesney!" Yes, I gave Kenny the cold shoulder and practically ripped my hand out of his like he was overstepping good manners by taking my hand in both of his. I felt like an idiot. I just didn't recognize the man without his cowboy hat on and I was taller than he was, which threw me off.
I actually have a few more stories of weird star happenings, like the time my friend drew all over the drummer of Alabama's sweatshirt, but I'm kind of taking your blog hostage at this point, so I'll have to save those for another time, or a posting of my own.
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Oh, to be able to make someone laugh --not just someone, but 2 someones-- What a beautiful and treasured memory!
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That was a great story
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Wow!!! You actually met/worked for him? How great a story is THAT! You have to watch his "Moses" movie at Easter time with your grandchildren and relay your having actually met him and all!! (Mr. Heston, of course, not Moses).
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Wow! What a great story! I know all about being shy & flip in the same person. How lucky you were to have met & worked with him.
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It's good to hear that the guy could laugh at himself (having become such a star)!
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