Holy Cow!
Chatty is taking a yoga class!
Before continuing, all of those who know Chatty should get their hysterical laughter under control, lest they risk permanent injury.
The first session involved learning to breathe from the diaphragm, and three simple “asanas”: Child’s Pose, The Cat, and The Cow.
Child’s Pose is a resting position, and aptly-named, because you often find babies sound asleep in this position.
The Cat is also obvious – imagine arching your back like a “Halloween Cat”.
The Cow was not so obvious to Chatty – it is basically the reverse of The Cat, with your spine in a concave rather than a convex position – yeah, Chatty is getting concave and convex – heaven help her! But, she didn’t get the “cow” part until the instructor explained that in this pose, one’s hips stick out and “look bony, like a cow’s.”
HA! The day Chatty’s hips look “bony” is the day there is a rip in the space/time continuum, or Hell freezes over - whichever comes first.
As we “sank gracefully and slowly” (Chatty uses the phrase loosely in her case) into this position, the instructor continued:
“Imagine your udder sinking gently toward the ground….”
YIKES! There’s a mental image that is currently haunting Chatty’s dreams…
All she can say is that she loves her “Gentle Yoga” class, but she is very grateful there are no mirrors in the room!
Before continuing, all of those who know Chatty should get their hysterical laughter under control, lest they risk permanent injury.
The first session involved learning to breathe from the diaphragm, and three simple “asanas”: Child’s Pose, The Cat, and The Cow.
Child’s Pose is a resting position, and aptly-named, because you often find babies sound asleep in this position.
The Cat is also obvious – imagine arching your back like a “Halloween Cat”.
The Cow was not so obvious to Chatty – it is basically the reverse of The Cat, with your spine in a concave rather than a convex position – yeah, Chatty is getting concave and convex – heaven help her! But, she didn’t get the “cow” part until the instructor explained that in this pose, one’s hips stick out and “look bony, like a cow’s.”
HA! The day Chatty’s hips look “bony” is the day there is a rip in the space/time continuum, or Hell freezes over - whichever comes first.
As we “sank gracefully and slowly” (Chatty uses the phrase loosely in her case) into this position, the instructor continued:
“Imagine your udder sinking gently toward the ground….”
YIKES! There’s a mental image that is currently haunting Chatty’s dreams…
All she can say is that she loves her “Gentle Yoga” class, but she is very grateful there are no mirrors in the room!
Someday I'll take a yoga class. In the meantime, it's Pilates in the privacy of my own bedroom!
Reply to this
LOL, I just hate it when my udder sinks to the floor!
Reply to this