The Doorstop
Anybody wanna buy a doorstop?
Chatty was taking care of business - making a salade nicoise, in fact - and was coring the cucumber. (Okay, technically salade nicoise does not include cucumber, but Chatty didn't have any green beans and was going with cucumber - because the ability to improvise is a gift, right?)
Well, Little Miss Toot LOVES cucumber– especially that slice Chatty cores out when her salad has to sit for a bit while she is preparing dinner for The Wiz (because cucumber seeds somehow melt and turn salad into a gelatinous mass before you can turn around).
Toot was begging for cucumber seed slices (she is SO Chatty's dog, loving all vegetables as she does), and of course Chatty gave her one.
But, Chatty needed to drain the olives that are so necessary in a good salade nicoise.
Chatty was approaching the sink. Toot didn’t care. She had (very quietly) dropped down by mommy's feet to slurp up the cucumber seed slice, instead of acting like a normal dog and taking her treat somewhere to enjoy in private.
Chatty turned, and tripped over the Toot.
Olives went flying, as did the jar, which crashed and... Chatty fell ass over elbow and slid into broken glass - hollering for The Wiz as she tanked.
The Wiz was out in the garage, but came running, and applied the giant Shop-Vac to suck up the zillions of pieces of glass (because Chatty was worried that little paws - feline and canine - might get hurt - and that Chatty would DEFINITELY get hurt when she tried to extract little pieces of glass from those same feline and canine paws...because she KNOWS those little devils could - and would - scratch Chatty in a heartbeat!).
To his credit, The Wiz did not laugh. At that moment.
However, Chatty is fairly sure he found the whole episode funny – until Toot almost got HIM the next day.
The only one laughing now is Toot.
Well, OK - the only TWO laughing are Toot and Cleo (who came in to watch the fun).
Wait. OK. The only THREE laughing are Toot, Cleo and Fluffy (who sees all - and laughs at EVERYTHING).
Chatty will probably find it funny, too – once she gets over the pain of falling on the floor and having to pick pieces of glass out of her derriere…
So, once again – does anybody need a living, breathing (and very cute) doorstop?
Chatty might be persuaded to sell you one cheap…*
_____________________________________________________
* Chatty is lying, of course. She just needed to vent - as she is still picking pieces of glass out of her...you know...
And, for the record - the only way anyone could take Miss Toot would be by prying her out of Chatty's cold, dead hands. Ditto for Cleo and Fluffy. She's just sayin'...
Chatty was taking care of business - making a salade nicoise, in fact - and was coring the cucumber. (Okay, technically salade nicoise does not include cucumber, but Chatty didn't have any green beans and was going with cucumber - because the ability to improvise is a gift, right?)
Well, Little Miss Toot LOVES cucumber– especially that slice Chatty cores out when her salad has to sit for a bit while she is preparing dinner for The Wiz (because cucumber seeds somehow melt and turn salad into a gelatinous mass before you can turn around).
Toot was begging for cucumber seed slices (she is SO Chatty's dog, loving all vegetables as she does), and of course Chatty gave her one.
But, Chatty needed to drain the olives that are so necessary in a good salade nicoise.
Chatty was approaching the sink. Toot didn’t care. She had (very quietly) dropped down by mommy's feet to slurp up the cucumber seed slice, instead of acting like a normal dog and taking her treat somewhere to enjoy in private.
Chatty turned, and tripped over the Toot.
Olives went flying, as did the jar, which crashed and... Chatty fell ass over elbow and slid into broken glass - hollering for The Wiz as she tanked.
The Wiz was out in the garage, but came running, and applied the giant Shop-Vac to suck up the zillions of pieces of glass (because Chatty was worried that little paws - feline and canine - might get hurt - and that Chatty would DEFINITELY get hurt when she tried to extract little pieces of glass from those same feline and canine paws...because she KNOWS those little devils could - and would - scratch Chatty in a heartbeat!).
To his credit, The Wiz did not laugh. At that moment.
However, Chatty is fairly sure he found the whole episode funny – until Toot almost got HIM the next day.
The only one laughing now is Toot.
Well, OK - the only TWO laughing are Toot and Cleo (who came in to watch the fun).
Wait. OK. The only THREE laughing are Toot, Cleo and Fluffy (who sees all - and laughs at EVERYTHING).
Chatty will probably find it funny, too – once she gets over the pain of falling on the floor and having to pick pieces of glass out of her derriere…
So, once again – does anybody need a living, breathing (and very cute) doorstop?
Chatty might be persuaded to sell you one cheap…*
_____________________________________________________
* Chatty is lying, of course. She just needed to vent - as she is still picking pieces of glass out of her...you know...
And, for the record - the only way anyone could take Miss Toot would be by prying her out of Chatty's cold, dead hands. Ditto for Cleo and Fluffy. She's just sayin'...
Oh Toot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I had a mishap with one of Sunny's half chewed bones this morning...I have a mishap almost every morning to be honest. I want to kill her, till I see those sad, sad eyes looking back at me...eh, what can you do?
I hope your bum is on the mend!
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AH yes - the old painfully pointy and dry bone on the carpet that one steps on with bare feet. Somehow, they just KNOW where to place them for maximum invisibility, yet in a major traffic area...
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Kcinnova hopes that Chatty has recovered from this incident. Cleopatra likes to trip her humans on the stairs AND in the kitchen, so I feel your pain...figuratively speaking.
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*Shakes head* Brought down by an ankle-biter.
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