OK - so what if she occasionally eats her mate - nobody's perfect!
“Honey – there is a Black Widow spider the size of a Buick headlight in here between the window and the screen.”
(The Wiz ambles in to take a look)
“Yep, she’s a big one!”
“I think you need to get the Shop-Vac, because those little dots might be babies.”
“Yeah, OK. We’ll do that later. I’m watching TV now.”
(Chatty takes 27 pictures of the Black Widow through the kitchen window)
“Honey?”
“What?”
“Be sure not to do ANYTHING with the Black Widow until I’m here to take pictures - because there’s bound to be a blog post in this.”
“Well, OK – but what if she skips town in the middle of the night?”
____________________________________________
Chatty gets up in the morning - and before she even reaches for coffee, she checks the window.
No Black Widow.
This is spooky, because it's a tight-fitting SCREEN and a closed WINDOW - and the spider
was between them last night.
Hmmmm.
Half a cup of coffee later, Chatty looks again. The spider is there, all right, but all hunkered down in a corner, as if the light is annoying her.
Chatty almost feels sorry for her. Almost.
But then she remembers several friends who have been bitten by Black Widows. Nobody died, of course - but they were painful experiences for everyone concerned.
And HEY! Doesn't a spider hide off in a corner somewhere so that smaller insects will stumble unsuspectingly into its web? Welcome to my parlor, and all...
Chatty decides that loving all members of the animal kingdom has its limits, and that therefore this spider must go – because we're not talking a Daddy Long Legs here - poisonous spiders can really HURT small animals, like the ones Chatty has – especially 3.2 pound Cleo and the elderly Siamese cat, Fluffy. Chatty is also concerned about the Shih-tzu – because Miss Toot loves to play with ANYTHING THAT MOVES - and even a 9.5 pound dog can suffer tremendously from a Black Widow bite.
So, with apologies to PETA, Chatty has decided that the Black Widow WILL be sucked into the Shop Vac at the earliest opportunity. Chatty thought about capturing Ms. Widow and removing her to a place far away - but what if it's a HOMING spider? OK, Chatty realizes there's probably no such thing as a homing spider, but Murphy's law is a strong force in this house, so...we're back to the Shop Vac.
But, Chatty being Chatty, she is now interested in the Black Widow, and the web she has built.
After careful observation, Chatty has formed the opinion that this particular Black Widow is not a rocket scientist among spiders, because she has spun a (really weird-looking, horizontal) web between a closed window and a small-gauge screen. Chatty is thinking that very few insects are small enough to fit through that screen to rush to their deaths. Not that they wouldn’t try, of course - because apparently small insects are even dumber than Ms. Widow, and they will try to “go toward the light” - which in this case is the kitchen light.
But, once again, Chatty being Chatty, she can’t help CHECKING on Ms. Widow, and WATCHING Ms. Widow, and being FASCINATED by Ms. Widow - even though Chatty is SCARED of Ms. Widow.
Because, although Chatty has never been bitten by a Black Widow, she HAS been bitten by a spider - a Brown Recluse (aka “Violin” or “Fiddleback”), to be exact – which in her experience was MUCH worse than a mere Black Widow.
No doubt you are anxious to learn how Chatty got bitten by one of the more deadly spiders, so she’ll now recount her sad tale.
Feel free to stop reading if you are at all squeamish.
Chatty was up in the mountains near Lake Arrowhead, California, around Christmas many years ago, and decided to visit a thrift shop - because she had not brought any gloves from Los Angeles and it’s COLD in the mountains in the winter. (DUH!)
Chatty thought she would save a few bucks by buying used - since she didn’t need any gloves in LA, and so just planned to leave the gloves she bought at her friend’s house for the next guest who might need them.
She found LOTS of gloves (nice woolen ones) at the thrift store, and tried on several pairs (according to the friendly proprietor, they were part of a new shipment from “the Midwest” – which becomes important when one realizes that the Brown Recluse is virtually unknown in California…but well-known in the Midwest).
Chatty will never know which glove provided the extra thrill of a Brown Recluse that had evidently traveled many miles in it. She never even felt the bite – and certainly never saw the spider.
But, bitten Chatty was!
Luckily for Chatty (as she was informed later), she didn’t really “do anything active” hand-wise for the rest of the day – like what, Chatty wondered - smashing around a tennis ball for a few hours in the snow... or bowling?
Happily, she just came home, cooked dinner, and then eventually went to bed.
But, in the middle of the night, she was awakened by incredible pain.
Her right hand was on fire, and definitely was not looking good. Her arm was not happy, either.
Let’s just pass over this lightly and merely note that Chatty ended up with a “bull’s eye” sort of ugly ridge at the base of those two fingers, and that the pain was…horrible and intense.
Chatty thought maybe it was an allergic reaction to something (because Chatty didn’t know about the telltale “bull’s eye”), and went to the nearest pharmacist the next morning.
He took one look, and said “Oh, dear.”
This was not what Chatty was longing to hear. She was hoping for some sympathy and a gallon of soothing ointment and anti-itch spray - or something along those lines.
However, what she got was the information that he was originally from St. Louis, and was therefore pretty sure that it was a Brown Recluse bite, and that Chatty had to get to a doctor FAST.
But Chatty was on vacation, so many hours passed (three days, actually - because Chatty assured her doctor that it wasn’t an emergency).
Let’s just agree here and now that Chatty was an idiot to think it was OK to wait three days!
It is FAR too late to make this long story short, but the upshot is that Chatty could have lost her little finger. It was touch and go for several weeks.
Gangrene and necrotic are SUCH ugly words, aren’t they?
Yes.
Chatty was left with an ugly, dark red, U-shaped…oh, never mind. Let's just note that it was YEARS before that wound faded, and every bad allergy attack can bring it back - in all its itchy, painful glory – to this day.
So, WHY does Chatty still find spiders fascinating?
Why does she still feel bad about the imminent demise of Ms. Black Widow?
Because Ms. Widow's days are numbered.
Oh, it won't happen today.
And probably not tomorrow.
Chatty must gear herself up for this, after all, and it isn't easy.
The process will be more dangerous for The Wiz, of course, as he will be manning the Shop Vac while Chatty cracks the window open a bit...because Chatty is fairly sure that The Wiz will refuse to wear the leather gloves and HAZMAT suit Chatty is pushing for - and will instead be attired in bathing trunks and nothing else - which frankly scares Chatty (the fact that Black Widows move so FAST she could run up his arm in a heartbeat, Chatty means - not the sight of The Wiz in bathing trunks!)
Let's face facts. Chatty obviously read Charlotte's Web FAR too many times in her youth - and now she's paying for it.
Let’s just hope that Chatty manages to refrain from giving Ms. Black Widow a name - because if ever she does…that will be it. If we were on a first name basis, Chatty would just have to let the spider do her thing - and never open that window until after the natural death of Ms. Widow.
And Chatty LIKES to be able to open that window to get some fresh air.
But really - how long can Catherine live between the window and the screen with very little food, anyway?
Ummmm…Catherine?
CATHERINE?!?
Oh, SNAP!
On the bright side, it’s really too hot in Arizona to think about opening the windows until October or so…
Meet Chatty’s new houseguest…
*sigh*
______________________________________________
UPDATE: Chatty has just read that Catherine could live for up to five years. The Shop Vac scenario is looking more and more probable...
(The Wiz ambles in to take a look)
“Yep, she’s a big one!”
“I think you need to get the Shop-Vac, because those little dots might be babies.”
“Yeah, OK. We’ll do that later. I’m watching TV now.”
(Chatty takes 27 pictures of the Black Widow through the kitchen window)
“Honey?”
“What?”
“Be sure not to do ANYTHING with the Black Widow until I’m here to take pictures - because there’s bound to be a blog post in this.”
“Well, OK – but what if she skips town in the middle of the night?”
____________________________________________
Chatty gets up in the morning - and before she even reaches for coffee, she checks the window.
No Black Widow.
This is spooky, because it's a tight-fitting SCREEN and a closed WINDOW - and the spider
was between them last night.
Hmmmm.
Half a cup of coffee later, Chatty looks again. The spider is there, all right, but all hunkered down in a corner, as if the light is annoying her.
Chatty almost feels sorry for her. Almost.
But then she remembers several friends who have been bitten by Black Widows. Nobody died, of course - but they were painful experiences for everyone concerned.
And HEY! Doesn't a spider hide off in a corner somewhere so that smaller insects will stumble unsuspectingly into its web? Welcome to my parlor, and all...
Chatty decides that loving all members of the animal kingdom has its limits, and that therefore this spider must go – because we're not talking a Daddy Long Legs here - poisonous spiders can really HURT small animals, like the ones Chatty has – especially 3.2 pound Cleo and the elderly Siamese cat, Fluffy. Chatty is also concerned about the Shih-tzu – because Miss Toot loves to play with ANYTHING THAT MOVES - and even a 9.5 pound dog can suffer tremendously from a Black Widow bite.
So, with apologies to PETA, Chatty has decided that the Black Widow WILL be sucked into the Shop Vac at the earliest opportunity. Chatty thought about capturing Ms. Widow and removing her to a place far away - but what if it's a HOMING spider? OK, Chatty realizes there's probably no such thing as a homing spider, but Murphy's law is a strong force in this house, so...we're back to the Shop Vac.
But, Chatty being Chatty, she is now interested in the Black Widow, and the web she has built.
After careful observation, Chatty has formed the opinion that this particular Black Widow is not a rocket scientist among spiders, because she has spun a (really weird-looking, horizontal) web between a closed window and a small-gauge screen. Chatty is thinking that very few insects are small enough to fit through that screen to rush to their deaths. Not that they wouldn’t try, of course - because apparently small insects are even dumber than Ms. Widow, and they will try to “go toward the light” - which in this case is the kitchen light.
But, once again, Chatty being Chatty, she can’t help CHECKING on Ms. Widow, and WATCHING Ms. Widow, and being FASCINATED by Ms. Widow - even though Chatty is SCARED of Ms. Widow.
Because, although Chatty has never been bitten by a Black Widow, she HAS been bitten by a spider - a Brown Recluse (aka “Violin” or “Fiddleback”), to be exact – which in her experience was MUCH worse than a mere Black Widow.
No doubt you are anxious to learn how Chatty got bitten by one of the more deadly spiders, so she’ll now recount her sad tale.
Feel free to stop reading if you are at all squeamish.
Chatty was up in the mountains near Lake Arrowhead, California, around Christmas many years ago, and decided to visit a thrift shop - because she had not brought any gloves from Los Angeles and it’s COLD in the mountains in the winter. (DUH!)
Chatty thought she would save a few bucks by buying used - since she didn’t need any gloves in LA, and so just planned to leave the gloves she bought at her friend’s house for the next guest who might need them.
She found LOTS of gloves (nice woolen ones) at the thrift store, and tried on several pairs (according to the friendly proprietor, they were part of a new shipment from “the Midwest” – which becomes important when one realizes that the Brown Recluse is virtually unknown in California…but well-known in the Midwest).
Chatty will never know which glove provided the extra thrill of a Brown Recluse that had evidently traveled many miles in it. She never even felt the bite – and certainly never saw the spider.
But, bitten Chatty was!
Luckily for Chatty (as she was informed later), she didn’t really “do anything active” hand-wise for the rest of the day – like what, Chatty wondered - smashing around a tennis ball for a few hours in the snow... or bowling?
Happily, she just came home, cooked dinner, and then eventually went to bed.
But, in the middle of the night, she was awakened by incredible pain.
Her right hand was on fire, and definitely was not looking good. Her arm was not happy, either.
Let’s just pass over this lightly and merely note that Chatty ended up with a “bull’s eye” sort of ugly ridge at the base of those two fingers, and that the pain was…horrible and intense.
Chatty thought maybe it was an allergic reaction to something (because Chatty didn’t know about the telltale “bull’s eye”), and went to the nearest pharmacist the next morning.
He took one look, and said “Oh, dear.”
This was not what Chatty was longing to hear. She was hoping for some sympathy and a gallon of soothing ointment and anti-itch spray - or something along those lines.
However, what she got was the information that he was originally from St. Louis, and was therefore pretty sure that it was a Brown Recluse bite, and that Chatty had to get to a doctor FAST.
But Chatty was on vacation, so many hours passed (three days, actually - because Chatty assured her doctor that it wasn’t an emergency).
Let’s just agree here and now that Chatty was an idiot to think it was OK to wait three days!
It is FAR too late to make this long story short, but the upshot is that Chatty could have lost her little finger. It was touch and go for several weeks.
Gangrene and necrotic are SUCH ugly words, aren’t they?
Yes.
Chatty was left with an ugly, dark red, U-shaped…oh, never mind. Let's just note that it was YEARS before that wound faded, and every bad allergy attack can bring it back - in all its itchy, painful glory – to this day.
So, WHY does Chatty still find spiders fascinating?
Why does she still feel bad about the imminent demise of Ms. Black Widow?
Because Ms. Widow's days are numbered.
Oh, it won't happen today.
And probably not tomorrow.
Chatty must gear herself up for this, after all, and it isn't easy.
The process will be more dangerous for The Wiz, of course, as he will be manning the Shop Vac while Chatty cracks the window open a bit...because Chatty is fairly sure that The Wiz will refuse to wear the leather gloves and HAZMAT suit Chatty is pushing for - and will instead be attired in bathing trunks and nothing else - which frankly scares Chatty (the fact that Black Widows move so FAST she could run up his arm in a heartbeat, Chatty means - not the sight of The Wiz in bathing trunks!)
Let's face facts. Chatty obviously read Charlotte's Web FAR too many times in her youth - and now she's paying for it.
Let’s just hope that Chatty manages to refrain from giving Ms. Black Widow a name - because if ever she does…that will be it. If we were on a first name basis, Chatty would just have to let the spider do her thing - and never open that window until after the natural death of Ms. Widow.
And Chatty LIKES to be able to open that window to get some fresh air.
But really - how long can Catherine live between the window and the screen with very little food, anyway?
Ummmm…Catherine?
CATHERINE?!?
Oh, SNAP!
On the bright side, it’s really too hot in Arizona to think about opening the windows until October or so…
Meet Chatty’s new houseguest…
*sigh*
______________________________________________
UPDATE: Chatty has just read that Catherine could live for up to five years. The Shop Vac scenario is looking more and more probable...
Oh, no! You NAMED it Catherine?
(Please tell me you don't name scorpions and cockroaches!)
Black widows fascinated me when we lived in El Paso, but I always preferred them far from anywhere I might be. And the brown recluse? Scary!
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Chatty, that spawn of satan must be destroyed! Oh, sure, they're god's creatures and all, until they invade our homes.
No wonder we click so well...I was bitten by a brown recluse once too! Worst pain ever! EVER! E V E R! I run screamin like a school girl anytime I see the tiniest of spiders now, so I commend you on your bravery. Even that photo of Ms.Catherine up there made me shudder and get goosebumps. Oh, and did I tell you? KILL THAT DEMON SPAWN NOW!
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Sadly, yes. You see, I was looking at the spider, and thinking about that movie "Black Widow" with Debra Winger and Theresa Russell. Theresa Russell's character was the "black widow" going around marrying men and then killing them, and her name was Catherine, and I told the spider that I thought "Catherine" was such a pretty name...and, well. There you go...
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Oh, FC! Finally, someone who knows about the Brown Recluse! People tended to treat me like I was being whiny and a wimp when I told them how much that bite hurt - and ITCHED. Oh, the ITCHING! I swear, it was 15 years ago, and sometimes that area STILL itches *sigh*
But I feel vindicated - at least someone out there knows I wasn't being a big baby about the whole experience!
And yes, I fear that Catherine cannot stay much longer between the window and the screen. Frankly, she is giving me the creeps, because I can't avoid seeing her every time I am standing at the sink.
The phrase "once bitten, twice shy" is really appropriate for the two of us, isn't it?
Did you get the spring roll recipe? I know it reads more like a short story than a recipe, but...hang in there!
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AAAAAAGH! EWWWWWW!
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Well, Recluse and Black Widow spiders scare the Pie out of me
I respect nature, but Please lord keep those things away! I think I spied a brown recluse this morning myself... Yeeeeek!!
Actually, the brown recluse bite is nasty! People have had huge rotting holes in their skin, and then Black Widow CAN be deadly!
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Yes, the Brown Recluse bite is nasty INDEED. As I said, I almost lost my little finger because of one...
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eewww! I am sorry you got bitten. I am not sorry that Catherine will be going into the shop vac.
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